Paying for a wedding really can break the bank, and expenses may vary by tens of thousands, depending on size, location, and taste. In partnership with the Financial Services Compensation Scheme (FSCS), we asked a recent bride to spill the beans — anonymously, of course — on every wedding-related expense, from the dress to the table vases...
FSCS is a free service which automatically protects your money, from £1 up to £85,000, in UK banks and building societies and credit unions. They also have loads of helpful money tips and guides, as well as a free wedding budget planner and future savings calculator to help you find out how much money you could save (now and for your future!). Whatever you’re saving for, your money is safe with FSCS.
Click through to find out how one bride spent her £35,000 budget.
The Basics
Jobs: Bride – Communications; Groom – Part-time student/manager
Ages: Bride 30; Groom 31
Location: London
Combined salary as a couple: £80,000 (after tax)
Wedding budget: £35,000
Wedding location: A church in London and reception at a beautiful old house-turned-hotel in Surrey.
Number of bridesmaids: 6
Number of groomsmen: 9
Flower girls? 1
Pageboys? 0
I never wanted to have a big wedding. The idea of being the centre of attention, in front of a lot of people filled me with dread. I always dreamed of eloping, to a Fijian beach. Failing that, I wanted to get married in my parents' back garden in New Zealand with a quintessential laid-back Kiwi BBQ.
My husband, on the other hand, has always wanted a classic big white wedding with all the trimmings. As you read on you’ll see there was less compromise than I had hoped for. However, we had the most glorious celebration and created precious memories with our family and friends that I wouldn’t trade for anything. There is very little I would change about our day – except the weather (it tipped it down for most of the day) and the number of guests…
Our parents were incredibly generous and offered to pay for our wedding. My in-laws gifted us £10,000. My parents gifted us £25,000 and said we could keep what we didn’t spend.
As an avid fan of eloping and a passionate saver and investor, I wanted to elope and put all the money towards the mortgage we had just acquired. My husband was having none of it.
Once I got my head around the big white wedding, my husband and I found we agreed on a lot of things. It was important to us to create a day that was fun-filled, enjoyable and special for our guests. Our budget priorities were food and entertainment along with photos and video, because a lot of my family and friends from New Zealand wouldn’t be coming to London for the wedding. Being a Kiwi and my husband being British, it was difficult to decide where we would get married. We chose London because this is where we met and where we have established our lives together. I was incredibly fortunate that my parents were supportive about this decision; they were our rocks during the wedding planning and made the day itself really wonderful.
I did have my cake in the end as we also had a low-key Kiwi BBQ wedding in the garden shortly after our London wedding. I encouraged Kiwi family and friends to attend this rather than make the costly trip to the UK. Despite this, some people came over, which I was especially grateful for.
The Essentials: £731
Marriage licence: £662
Banns: £69
Engagement ring: Unknown
Wedding bands: Bride £1,300; Groom £1,000 (not included in budget)
Wedding planner: £0
We both really wanted a church ceremony. In fact, on about our third date we drove past our church and my husband blurted out that he wanted to get married there. Suffice to say what followed was a rather awkward few minutes.
My engagement ring was a complete and utterly gorgeous surprise, which my husband had custom-made (okay, I may have sent photos of Princess Diana’s engagement ring to my friends so they could help should the need arise). I don’t know the cost and I want to keep it that way; it’s good to keep some mystery in the relationship.
My wedding band cost more than I had planned because I decided I wanted a sparkly one instead of a plain one. Mortgage. What mortgage? I have no regrets.
We chose not to have a wedding planner. As a passionate organiser, planning the wedding was my true happy place. I’m aware of the contradiction, given that I said I wanted to elope – I still pine for my colour-coded spreadsheet.
Hen & Stag
Hen party: £50 per guest
Stag party: £45 per guest (my husband successfully haggled to get a better rate)
I didn’t have strong opinions on many things but one thing I did insist on was an affordable hen do. As did my husband. We didn’t want our friends forking out hundreds of pounds, as is becoming more and more common. We set a budget of no more than £50 per guest.
I had a very traditional hen do complete with crazy games and challenges, a lot of alcohol, and a butler in the buff. I also had a separate, more dignified bridal shower, which my mum came to along with other special ladies in my life. In NZ it’s the done thing to have two separate parties. I didn’t realise that wasn’t the case in the UK and it caused a lot of confusion and awkward conversations!
My husband and his mates went camping, complete with assault course and lots of embarrassing and disgusting challenges. Unlike my hen do, my husband’s stag do had limited alcohol and a strict no-stripper policy.
Venue – reception: £24,151
Reception cost: £19,543
Venue hire: £5,000
Service charge: £1,560
Wedding breakfast: £11,830 (£148 per person)
Children's wedding breakfast: £175 (£17.50 per child)
Evening food: £800
Any other food: £200 – seven band members and two videographers
Bar tab: £65 – non-alcoholic drinks
Cake: £0
Alcohol: £0 – included in wedding breakfast
Wedding favours: £485
Decor in the venue: £475
Band: £1,870
Fireworks: £1,200
Transport for bride and groom: £278
Transport for guests: £300
My in-laws are very traditional and wanted a three-course sit-down wedding breakfast with alcohol included. They also wanted to invite everyone they know and their next-door neighbour. I know what you’re thinking: it’s not about what the in-laws want, it’s about what the bride and groom want.
I’m a chronic people-pleaser and my in-laws don’t budge so you can guess how this turned out.
With a minimum of 150 sit-down we were really pushed to find a venue that fit the in-laws’ criteria and still came within our very generous budget. Fortunately, we found a lovely one, which ticked all the boxes.
The venue hire included two nights’ accommodation, a taste testing, a wedding co-ordinator, a master of ceremonies, table stationery, tablecloths, etc.
The wedding breakfast included canapés, three courses, half a bottle of wine and two glasses of prosecco per person. We paid a little bit more to have jugs of Pimm's and non-alcoholic options throughout the day. The taste testing was really special as my dad happened to be in the UK at the time for business so he was able to join us. It was really hard planning the wedding with my parents so far away, so I especially enjoyed being able to do this with him.
As if we didn’t have enough people at the wedding breakfast, we also had people come just for the evening (having attended the ceremony earlier in the day). Along with guests from abroad, we have such a fantastic community of friends and this was the only way we could include everyone, given the number of guests invited by the in-laws. We had a big cheese platter in the evening along with the cake.
I am a big fan of cake and an especially big fan of my friend’s cakes. No one makes better cake and we were over the moon when she generously offered to make our wedding cake as her gift to us. It was three layers – coconut, carrot and lemon. It looked incredible and tasted even better.
The food was exceptional. Given how many bad wedding breakfasts I’ve consumed over the years, my expectations were fairly low. The food ended up being one of the highlights for us and our guests, who still rave about the food to this day. I have to admit I’m glad I was pushed into prioritising this, but I definitely should have pushed back on the number of guests. However, there is no point having regrets; you live and you learn…and you get more gifts.
Our wedding favours were personalised mini bottles of gin and whiskey. This could have been a cost-saving area but by this stage, I was well into the swing of a big white wedding and considered these a must-have item.
My husband really wanted a seven-piece band and fireworks. For me, I could take or leave these things and initially viewed the cost as an easy way to save a lot of money. However, it was really important to him and I have to say it did make the evening. We had the best dance party with our friends and finishing the night with a spectacular bang was perfect.
Flowers: £1,643
Church/registry office flowers: £474 (12 x pews; 1 x long and low)
Confetti in cones: £140 (we couldn’t use them because of the rain so gifted them to our friends who were getting married shortly after us)
Bridal bouquet: £60
Bridesmaids’ bouquets: £210 (six at £35)
Pinholes: £120 (12 at £10)
Table flowers: £140 (we also used the flowers from the church)
Corsages: £24 (two at £12)
Flower girl crown: £25
Florist's time: £450
The colour of the flowers ended up being a defining life moment for me. My mother-in-law didn’t like the colour I had chosen and was very insistent on another colour. Rather than deal with confrontation I planned to bow to the pressure. However, my husband was insistent (in a supportive and loving way) that I have the colour I wanted. I’m embarrassed as I write this, talk about first world problems! Sticking with my original colour choice was one of the hardest and best things I’ve ever done. I can now proudly say I’m a recovering people-pleaser (for the most part).
Dress: £1,920 (not included in budget)
Dress: £1,375
Dress alterations: £285
Shoes: £50
Veil: £132
Accessories: £78
My dress wasn’t included in the budget. As if my dad hadn’t been generous enough, this was his gift to me.
My dream dress was a bikini-style dress, to complement my Fijian elopement. As this wasn’t appropriate for a traditional British church wedding, it was back to the drawing board.
It was really hard not having my mum with me to choose my dress. Thankfully modern technology meant I could Skype and WhatsApp her live updates. It’s important to me to have a good relationship with my in-laws and for the most part I do (though you might not think so from this post). I asked my mother-in-law to come with me and she was absolutely thrilled, which was so special and we had the best time together.
I didn’t know what I wanted but as soon as I put my dress on, I knew I’d found the one. Lots of lace, a gorgeous low back and full skirt with no pouffe. I chose to get my dress a size too big so that I could continue eating as much cake as I wanted. Apparently, this was the first time the dress shop had had this sort of request. My plan didn’t work out so well as I ended up needing to have it taken in a lot. Turns out stress is the most effective weight-loss plan.
Bridal Party: £2,171
Bridal party hair and makeup: £650 (including trial and mother of the bride)
Bridesmaid dresses: £480 (six at £80)
Bridesmaid accessories: £55
Flower girl dress: £0
Groom suit: £58 for dry-cleaning the kilt he already owned
Groom shoes: £0
Groom accessories: £0
Groomsmen suits and shoes: £928 (nine at £116 (groom’s brother also owns his kilt))
Much like my hen do, I felt very strongly about our bridal party not paying for the privilege of being part of our wedding. In the case of my flower girl, her parents insisted on paying which was very generous of them. I was relaxed about what my bridesmaids wore. I wanted them to love their dresses and I was happy for them to choose different dresses and different colours as long as there was a loose theme tying them together. In the end, they all liked the same dress so wore same colour and design with three in floor-length and three in knee-length.
Stationery: £792
Designer: £50
Save the date and postage: £106
Invitations and postage: £306
Wax seal for invites: £100
Paper for printing signs: £55
Table plan: £55
Printing programmes: £80
Thank you letters: £40
We both really enjoy good design so had a lot of fun designing our stationery. We are fortunate to have some very talented design friends who helped us create the most beautiful stationery. While I loved having printed invitations, if I had my time over I probably would have gone for e-invites, especially given how many invites were being sent abroad.
Other: £2,599
Photography: £1,165
Video: £700
Gifts: £780 (not included in budget)
Hotel for the bride: £190
Wedding insurance: £150
Polaroid and photo props: £125
Games: £109
Teen/children wedding favours: £30
Sweet station: £50
Guest book and pens: £55
Umbrellas: £25
We were fortunate to have a friend who makes films professionally and he offered us a significantly discounted rate. The video is outstanding, I’ve never seen a wedding video like it. This was especially meaningful to me, given how many people we were sharing it with in New Zealand.
We were so excited about the lawn games we purchased for guests to play during drinks and canapés. Unfortunately, because of the rain we didn’t get to use them. We now enjoy using them in our garden so it wasn’t a wasted purchase.
We really wanted the kids and teens to have a great time at our wedding so made an effort to cater for them with personalised wedding favours, games and a sweet station, filled with NZ sweets to pay tribute to my home country.
We had a lot of friends pitch in to help us with various things and it was important to us that we acknowledge their support. We loved choosing unique and heartfelt gifts and taking the opportunity to let people know how much they mean to us. During a wedding, the love and care and support of family and friends is intensified and it’s the most wonderful feeling. We were on cloud nine.
The Breakdown
Essentials: £731
Venue: £24,151
Flowers: £1,643
Bridal Party: £2,171
Stationery: £792
Other: £2,599
Total: £32,087
Wedding bands: Bride £1,300; Groom £1,000
Gifts: £780
Total with wedding bands and gifts: £35,167
Because our parents were paying for our wedding, we chose to pay separately for our wedding bands and gifts. We had put money aside for those purchases and it also enabled us to put a little bit of the money my parents had generously gifted us towards our mortgage.
Making wise financial choices is important but it’s also important to celebrate and create memories – which we did in a most delightful, beautiful, joyous and fun-filled way.
Whatever you’re saving or budgeting for, remember FSCS protects your money in UK banks, building societies and credit unions for free. Check your money is FSCS protected here. If you’re getting married or planning a wedding, you can download a free wedding budget planner from FSCS.
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