Love, we're told by sages and poets, artists and activists, is the answer. Love will set us free. It will lift us up when we’re down, provide hope when we have none, give our lives the meaning and purpose we crave. We hear it so much it’s become a sort of everlasting refrain. All you need is love. Love is all you need. Bullshit. Love will not — in any true or lasting way — set you free. It can’t pay your bills when you’re broke.
You want a truth that’s universally acknowledged? Love sucks. It is the actual worst. It’ll make you feel things for people, and then those people will leave. It’s like a drug, but instead of getting you high, it makes you cry over soppy ads on TV. It will make you earnest. And it will make you boring. And it will end.
So let’s hear it for the cynics and the heart-bored and anyone who’s ever looked love in the eye and thought: meh. This one’s for you.
"Love drains you, takes with it much of your blood sugar & water weight. You are like a house slowly losing its electricity, the fans slowing, the lights dimming and flickering, the clocks stop and go and stop."
Lorrie Moore, Self-Help
Illustrated by Emma Munger.
"'Lovers'... that word bums me out unless it's between 'meat' and 'pizza'."
Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
Illustrated by Emma Munger.
"Friendship is a serious affection; the most sublime of all affections, because it is founded on principle and cemented by time. The reverse may be said of love."
Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication Of The Rights Of Women
Illustrated by Emma Munger.
"Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty."
Helen Rowland, A Guide To Men
Illustrated by Emma Munger.
"I don't care about anyone, and the feeling is quite obviously mutual."
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath
Illustrated by Emma Munger.
"If you want to sacrifice the admirations of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."
Katharine Hepburn
"Love indeed – whoever invented love ought to be shot."
Nancy Mitford, Love In A Cold Climate
Illustrated by Emma Munger.
"When one is in Love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a Romance."
Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
All quotes taken from Love Sucks: The Truth About Romance From The World's Greatest Cynics by Daria Summers, illustrations by Emma Munger. Available now, published by Smith Street Pages.
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