Welcome to Money Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money on one of the biggest days of their lives: their wedding.
This week, we're with a copywriter and architect living in London who set their budget at a modest £7.5k. As you can see, things didn't exactly go to plan...
The Basics
Jobs: Copywriter + Architect (newly qualified)
Ages: I’m 25; my husband is 26
Location: North Islington, London
Combined salary as a couple: £61,500
Wedding location: Just outside Henley-On-Thames
Number of bridesmaids: Three
Number of groomsmen: Two
Flower girls? Nah, my friends haven’t had any girl kids yet!
Page boys? Yep, two: my husband’s cousin (aged 10) and our nephew (aged 2)
What were your ideas at the beginning about how you’d spend money on your wedding?
When my husband proposed, we were in a really, really different place to where we are now. I had left a job I hated and my husband was a full-time student with no income, so thinking about wedding spending was frankly terrifying. I'd never saved a penny in my life (my student loan went on a Mac laptop, MAC and McDonald's) and while my husband was studying, saving was impossible. He actually said at the time “I reckon we can do the whole thing for £5k” (LOL!) and while I knew this was blue-sky at best, I thought around £7.5k would be enough. (Again, LOL.)
We agreed the following would be prioritised: the venue, the entertainment and the photographer. It was very important to us that the wedding focused on our guests and their experience, rather than us having a ‘special princess day’. Also, you can’t redo the photographs of your wedding day, so investing in someone who will create images that you’ll look back on for generations to come was important to us. I thought my dress would cost around £700-£800 but I had no real clue on suits and bridesmaid dresses. We had no idea you had to pay for the registrar, wedding certificates, giving notice, etc… Why does no one tell you these things?
Long story short: We were a bit out of our depth!
The Essentials: £880
Marriage licence: £605 for the registrar (we got married on a Sunday, hence the weird number); £70 for marriage registration (with the local authority); £8 on wedding certificates (you can pay for these on the day in cash. We didn’t but I thought that was quite funny).
Engagement ring: Husband was unhappy to divulge this but about £1,000. My husband also wore an engagement ring which I bought for him, £60. (Not included in overall total.)
Wedding bands: We paid for our own (how modern); mine was £75, my husband’s was £122.
Wedding planner: We planned our own wedding so no cost here (aside from our own time/mental health!). If you have a particular style or a controlling personality like me, I would recommend avoiding a planner.
Hen & Stag: £100
Hen party: £100 contribution
I split my hen party in two. First, I had a beautiful afternoon tea with my family at an amazing venue in Oxford which was about £25pp plus about another £40pp on the afterparty… What can I say, we love cocktails. This was for 15 people.
My amazing, wonderful friends and bridesmaids arranged my second hen party. They arranged a weekend away in the Cotswolds with a rented cottage, private yoga session, big night out at the local pub (we turned up in mini dresses and ‘bride’ crowns surrounded by farmers and terrified housewives, it was fucking epic), two homemade brunches, a movie night and an at-home manicurist. I have no idea how much it cost them each exactly (there were five of us) but I think it was around £250 each for them and I contributed £100.
Stag party: Unknown
My husband only had one stag (poor queen) and it was a complete surprise. His two best men flipped a coin over places on a map and decided on a week in Bulgaria. My husband and I didn’t know where he was going until he got to the airport with an A1 size ticket (it was bigger than him!), a T-shirt with his face on (not cute) and a kids’ Trunki filled with his belongings. Their Airbnb cost £36pp for the week (crazy), and the four guys paid for all the drinks, food and activities like a spa day, wine tasting, kayaking and clubs each night, so my husband paid nothing.
Reception: £7,784.50
Why did you choose to get married here? We wanted a venue that was halfway between our two lives. We are from south Oxfordshire and live in north London so either way, people would need to travel. We decided on the area around Henley-On-Thames as it's 55 nautical miles in each direction to London and Oxford (cute right?). We only saw two venues and both on the same day. The first one was absolutely AWFUL! It was three miles up a MASSIVE hill which in the winter became a mudslide. Great. It was love at first sight with the second venue: an 11th-century inn and private house in a village about 12 miles outside Henley. It had been recently renovated by a Danish interior designer, and the juxtaposition of the 11th century outside with the chic, modern inside was something we really loved.
Venue hire: What did this include? Budget: £6,000. Final cost: £6,300.50. This included the venue hire itself; 14 bedrooms for our closest family and friends (although it was compulsory to take these); a dedicated wedding coordinator (we ended up going through four, they were all shit); three-course wedding breakfast with half a bottle of wine per person, prosecco toast and welcome drink for 50 guests; bacon/veggie baps for 65 evening guests; all table linens, glassware and crockery; all staff costs for the day; wedding tasting for the two of us; the bridal suite for the night before and night of; and my husband’s bedroom for the night before (both with breakfast included).
Wedding breakfast: Included above. We had three courses and this included a completely different menu for vegetarians (including me!) and amendments for gluten-free guests, plus half a bottle of wine per person.
Evening food: Included above. 50/50 split veggie burger and bacon baps for 65 guests. I think I only had two bites of mine and it vanished.
Any other food: ~£70 but my husband’s nan paid for most of this (babe). We created a sweet station in the same room as the photo booth and evening food. We purchased loads of Haribo-style sweets, lollipops and chocolates from a wholesaler about four weeks before the wedding and had these out throughout the day for guests to fill up little bags. It was definitely worth it as there were none left the next day!
Bar tab: £0. Sadly, we couldn’t afford to put on a bar tab but this didn’t stop people buying loads of drinks. I don’t think there was a moment throughout the evening that I didn’t have a drink in my hand.
Cake: Budgeted £150. Final cost £303. We saw a cake on Pinterest which was quite unique and nothing like any other cake we had seen before, so we knew it would cost a bit of coin. We shopped around cake-makers in London and Henley (don’t bother in London if you’re on a budget) and decided on a home-baker in Henley. She created our HANDPAINTED, three-tiered, ‘ombre’ cake for £303 which included two different flavoured sponges and two different butter cream fillings. It was fucking delicious and everyone commented on how unique it was. She was also a total babe and sent us free tasters by courier to London.
Prosecco for toasting: Included in the venue cost, however we upgraded from the standard Bucks Fizz to prosecco, and sparkling elderflower for non-drinkers.
Décor in the venue (inc centrepieces): Budget: £150. Final cost: £213. We bought, arranged and managed the set-up of all our wedding décor. This included endless candles (scented, table stick, pillar-style, tealights) and holders, lanterns, postcards for the tables, handmade table planner and other paper goods like signs for the cake/sweet station/cards/gifts). We bought loads of décor from IKEA. As we work in the creative industries, my husband and I and one of my fabulous bridesmaids created all the paper goods using InDesign then we had them printed by Moo. We borrowed all the glass jars for the sweet station from my sister-in-law who got married last year, and collected milk bottles from the local corner shop to use as vases alongside the ones we bought from IKEA.
Band: Budget: £1,000. Final cost: £898 and worth every single penny. We found our band from Alive Nation (big recommend) and they could have charged double and still been worth the money.
DJ: FREE! My husband’s dad DJs on the side (yep, really) so he did all the set-up for us on the day and all we needed to do was plug in the iPhone. We created Spotify playlists for use at the ceremony, during the day, between band sets and then the late-night disco. I would recommend asking your venue if they have a sound system that you can just plug an iPhone into as that gives you total control of the music. There’s nothing worse than when a DJ plays a track that empties the dance floor…
Transport for bride and groom: FREE. My mum picked us up from London the day before the wedding and took us to Heathrow the day after.
Transport for guests: FREE. Everyone sorted themselves out, thank God.
Flowers: £291.48
Budget: £350. Final cost: £281.50. Initially, we visited a London-based florist who we LOVED to select our bouquets, buttonholes and table flowers but they had a minimum spend of £1,000 (which is fucking ridiculous). So we were really naughty and sent images of the arrangements we liked to a florist I found online, who was based about 45 minutes from the venue. She said she could create the altar piece, bouquets and buttonholes for £150. WHAT A BABE. They turned out quite different from the London florist in the end, so I don’t feel bad about our choice of action.
We also chose to do all the other arrangements ourselves, including centrepieces and decorative bunches, so purchased a lot of loose stems from the same florist for £131.50. This also included extra bunches of gypsophila to put in my bridesmaids’ hair. The whole bridal party came together the night before the wedding to put the centrepieces and decorative arrangements together which was a really magical way to get us all in the spirit.
Table flowers: See above.
Church/registry office flowers: See above. Altar arrangement cost the most of all our flower arrangements at £65.
Confetti: £9.98, bought online. We chose a box of 24 and the confetti was made from recycled paper.
Bouquets/pinholes/corsages etc: See above.
Dresses: £2,950
Did you have a dress in mind before the process?
When we were first engaged, I had a friend who worked for a very well-known global couture brand and she offered to make my dream dress for me. We went through several designs and decided on a full skirt, long-sleeved and keyhole back style as I got married in the winter. Sadly, my friend pulled out about a year later which hurt like hell at the time, but upon reflection I can understand: it’s a hell of a lot of pressure to make someone’s wedding dress and I respect her for being brave enough to tell me far enough in advance.
So the search began again! I looked online at places like BHLDN and David’s Bridal but hated everything. I tried on dresses at numerous boutiques across London and again, hated everything. It all felt so classic and didn’t suit my style. I can’t lie, I started to panic, but then while on holiday in Barcelona, my husband and I walked past this little store that had a white leather jacket in the window. It caught my eye and I looked further and saw they made wedding dresses and this STUNNING Spanish girl was having a fitting at the time. She looked like a rockstar and I was hooked. I made a note of the name of the store and looked them up when we got back to the UK, et voilà! They had a boutique in London – which was the designer’s sister's front room. The little store I saw in Barcelona turned out to be the flagship design house for an emerging couture bridal designer. The designer offers a collection of ‘base’ designs which are then tailored and tweaked to suit the bride’s personal style. When I discovered this, I started seeing £££ signs and freaked out, but their prices were actually significantly cheaper than most of the rail-dresses I’d been trying on in London.
Following three visits with my bridesmaids/mum, we decided on a base of a Calvin Klein 1990s-style slip dress with the most intricately detailed open back, deep V-front, fitted waist and meter-long train. I was also gifted a three-metre long veil from my previous employer which, incredibly, perfectly matched the French lace we chose to trim the dress with.
Dress: Budget: £750. Final cost: £1,890 – my mum paid for the dress at her insistence and I’ve never been so grateful in my life. She’s not loaded and I cried so much at accepting the money, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer and didn’t tell me she was even going to suggest paying until I was handing over my credit card upon ordering. Apparently, she had been saving up since I left home at 18. Crying. I paid the fitting charges which are included in the £1,890.
Shoes: Budget: £0, I hadn’t even thought of shoes. Final cost: £475. These were my treat to myself as my mum paid for the dress. I chose a flat, pointed pair from Aquazzura and bought them online from Net-A-Porter. I haven't included this in the final budget.
Veil: FREE! Thank you, old employer!
Accessories: Budget: £0, again, didn’t even think about it. I wore a pair of diamond earrings which cost me about £50 at the time of buying them but this was before we got engaged.
Bridal party hair: FREE. My amazing, AMAZING best friends bought me this as a wedding gift. My hair stylist was local to south Oxfordshire, not Henley, but didn’t charge a travel cost. I found her online. My bridesmaids chose to do their own hair as they are utter legends.
Bridal party makeup: FREE. We all did our own. I’ve had my makeup done for filming/photography jobs before and hated it, so I practised for nearly a year leading up to the wedding.
Bridesmaid dresses: Budget: £150. Final cost: £138. I bought the dresses from ASOS (using my bridesmaid's discount) and their cardigans (which they never wore in the end) from Zara.
Groom suit: Budget: £300. Final cost: £575. My husband is a bit of weird shape (soz babes) and is shorter than I am, so he always knew he would need a suit tailored, but it ended up costing more than the suit itself! He bought the suit from French Connection on sale then had it tailored at a boutique in Fitzrovia (and was then surprised at the cost… No comment).
Groom shoes: My husband is a shoe man and happily spends £100s on shoes. He chose a pair from Grenson which cost £170 on sale. He also wore them to his sister’s wedding and his graduation the year before, so good cost-per-wear.
Groom accessories: FREE. He was gifted his cufflinks.
Groomsmen suits: Budget: £200. Final cost: £177. One of the best men is Scottish so he rented a kilt; with the other, we paid half for his suit from M&S and he paid the other half with the reasoning of ‘I’ll wear it time and time again’. They both also paid for their own shirts and shoes.
Stationery: £1,909.12
Invitations and postage: Budget: £150. Final cost: £119.12. As I said earlier, we designed all our own paper goods including save the dates, invitations, information booklets, room cards for those with booked rooms, table plans, ‘signage’ cards and place cards. We had it all printed at Moo.
Photography: Budget: £700. Final cost £1,450 – again, worth every penny. My husband’s parents offered and kindly paid for our photographer. We met him at a godawful wedding fair at the venue (seriously, fuck wedding fairs; unless you’re 100% with what you want they’re a nightmare and full of psychos trying to rip you off). He was SO friendly and chatty, taking our names and researching us after our first meeting, so when we chatted a few months later we felt really connected with him. This cost included eight hours of photography coverage, a USB with all our images on and total rights to the images once handed over. The photos we have seen so far are breathtaking.
We also budgeted £500 on a photo booth as we’re complete millennials and LOVE a photo booth. It cost £315 in the end and included four hours' coverage, a USB with all the images and personalised prints for every guest. Amazing!
Video: We didn’t go for video. My mum had her wedding filmed and said she never watched it, so we didn’t bother.
Thank you letters: We haven’t started these yet but I think it will cost about £25. We want to include a photo from the wedding in each thank you card so I’ll get them printed using FREEPRINTS; it’s an iPhone app that gives you 40 free prints a month (seriously!).
The Breakdown
Essentials: £880
Hen & Stag: £100
Reception: £7,784.50
Flowers: £291.48
Dresses: £2,950
Stationery: £1,909.12
Total: £13,915.10
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
How This CEO Balances Work & Motherhood
Confessions Of A...Former Cleaner
I'm A Successful Creative Director — & This Was My First Failure