It can be surprisingly easy to stick around at a job you don’t like. After all, there's a comfort that comes with a steady paycheque or cushty benefits, and that can often outweigh the nagging feelings of restlessness you may be experiencing.
It's a phenomenon millennials know all too well: In recent years, millennial disengagement at work has been reported to be as high as 71%. Today's young workers are increasingly seeking things like a good workplace culture, work-life balance, and remote work options. But many workplaces just aren't delivering, and as a result many millennials aren't happy in their jobs, whether they're dealing with bad management, a toxic office culture, or lack of diversity and inclusion. And though some have options (have you ever heard of taking a stress leave?), there are others who reach a boiling point and just quit.
In recent years, the rate at which workers quit their jobs has increased, reaching 2.4% in May 2018, the highest level since April 2001. And while some disgruntled employees are able to give the standard two weeks' notice, others who find themselves at the end of their proverbial rope abruptly quit on the spot.
So what happens after you "rage quit"? And is it worth it to leave your job in such a way? Ahead, we talked with eight women who rage quit their jobs to shed some light on how it went, and what they learned from the experience.
“In 2012, I worked for a television station with a reputation for working people into the ground. The recession had caused newsrooms to be cut, and ours was no different. We had a small staff, unreasonable expectations, and harsh criticisms from management despite the fact that every employee was overworked. Nothing was ever good enough.
"I'd tried to put in my two weeks' notice a few months before the walkout, but my boss begged me to stay, promised to change, and even gave me a couple extra days off to recoup. I agreed but started applying for other jobs because I knew it wouldn't last.
“The day I came back to work, no one from management bothered to speak to me. Typically, we had a daily 2 p.m. editorial meeting. But that day we'd had a small storm system move in, so everyone was busy and we didn't meet. I got zero feedback or assistance from managers and had only one reporter for the 10 p.m. show I was producing.
"When I met with my news director at 6 p.m. to go over my show, she criticised, berated, and belittled me because the show I'd put together — with no help and very few resources — wasn't good enough for her. Despite the fact that I was fuming, I took a deep breath and went back to my desk to regroup.
“I sat down, shaking with rage. I thought, ‘I want to quit, right now. I just want to walk out.’ I told myself to calm down and count to 100, so I did, but I still felt the same way. So I grabbed the few personal belongings on my desk, my coat, and my purse and marched back into my boss's office. I told her I was done and was leaving and not coming back.
"My boss asked me to come in and sit down and talk, and I told her I had nothing to talk about. She reminded me about the noncompete clause in my contract, and I told her it wasn’t a problem, that I wouldn’t be working in TV ever again, and walked out.
“I had a little bit of a safety net because I'd just moved in with my boyfriend and had gotten a tax-refund check. But I had no real savings to fall back on. Luckily, the very next day I got a call to interview for a job I'd applied for a month prior, after a really bad day. I got that job, was quickly promoted, and doubled my salary in just five years.
"Overall, I learned that I don't deserve to be treated like crap. I have value and I'm worth fighting for. It was literally one of the best decisions I've ever made. I also found out that my coworkers had dubbed my move 'pulling a Kelly C.' Whenever someone would have a really bad day, they'd say, ‘Man, I really wanted to pull a Kelly C. today.’ Apparently, it still lives on, even though I've been gone for so long.”
— Kelly, 39, Public Relations, Norman, OK
"After graduating at 22, I got hired at my 'dream' hospital. I was so excited in the beginning because I thought that I had everything I wanted. But as a new nurse, I felt like I didn’t know anything. On top of that, I was taking care of the pediatric population. It was heartbreaking for me to take care of sick children, especially knowing that I couldn’t do anything more for them.
"Three months in, I was close to completing orientation but realized I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t eating or sleeping, had lost weight, and was so unhealthy. One day after a shift, I talked to my manager and said, 'I don’t think this is for me.' The next day I went to HR, and that was done.
"I didn’t have a backup plan and had loans to pay. I quickly fell into a deeper depression — but I knew that I had to take care of myself first. I saw a psychiatrist for the first time ever, and with the support of my family, I focused on taking care of myself. During that time, I decided not to go back into nursing yet. After five months, I started as a store associate in retail. Even though I was making less than half of what I would’ve been making as a nurse, I needed to make even a little bit of money. Two months after I started that retail job, I started working as a registered nurse again at a long-term-care facility.
"I worked there for three months, but I dreaded going in every day. They wanted me to work 16 hours every day because we were always short-staffed. I did not feel safe working there, and I wasn’t alone. Another nurse said that she had been putting in applications for other jobs every night.
"One day, I had enough. And I wrote my resignation letter, put it in my supervisor’s mailbox, and never looked back. Now, I have been working at an outpatient clinic for over two years, and I love it. I am even back in school to get my master’s to become a nurse practitioner. This experience taught me that it’s okay to take risks.
"If I didn’t quit, I would still be unhappy with my job and probably would not have addressed some mental-health issues I have. Some days I don’t feel like working because I don’t want to get out of my comfy, warm bed. But once I’m here in my office, everything feels right."
— Katie, 26, Registered Nurse, Philadelphia, PA
“A long time ago, when I was working for a major TV station, I'd been dealing with a shitty work environment and gender discrimination, and talking to HR did nothing. I'd been ‘sideways’ demoted and lied to regularly. My boss was also sleeping with the person working for me, which made things even more unpleasant.
“One day my boss called me into his office to give me a random review. It was so beside the point and obviously done just to annoy me that I lost it. I quit on the spot and basically threatened to sue for gender discrimination if they didn't give me a severance package.
“Looking back, I think my boss was relieved. I'd complained to HR about issues I had with him (as had other women in the company), so they didn't want to fire me. I ended up getting three months' pay and six months of health insurance. I packed my desk (although I'd taken most of everything home by then) and never came back.
“Afterward, I ended up going back to university and got a master’s in writing and education. This experience changed my life forever. It taught me to address an awful work situation much earlier and with more up-front honesty — I've found even when people agree with you, they still don't want to stand out and complain. It also taught me to protect myself and my interests first.”
— Leigh, 46, Writing & Business Mentor, Atlanta, GA, & Salta, Argentina
"I worked at a restaurant that was very corporate and had a lot of rules (i.e., bring in a dry-cleaning tag to prove you’ve washed your white button-down uniform shirt). Guests were in charge and could have anything they wanted, including any alteration to the menu.
"It was Valentine’s Day lunch, and we were told that we had to switch out our normal uniform ties for Valentine’s Day ties. I was already miserable and sleepless, and the tie didn’t help. Later that afternoon, after a couple who hadn’t treated me well got up to leave, I didn’t find any evidence of their payment. Little did I know they’d paid cash with a manager. Instead of asking my manager if they’d taken payment for the table, I chased the couple out the front door.
"Once it was clear that they had paid and I just hadn’t seen it, the man complained to my manager for embarrassing him on Valentine’s Day in front of his date. I cried in the kitchen, and my manager seemed furious. The man was presented with a gift card and was told that I would be reprimanded for what I did.
"The next morning, I was asked to come by at 8 a.m. to speak to my general manager. To my surprise, he did not want to fire me. He told me I was a good server and issued me a write-up. But I realised I couldn’t take it and slid the write-up back to him. I told him that I quit and didn’t want to finish the rest of my shifts.
"At the time, I had absolutely no money saved but was afraid to work at another restaurant, fearing my reputation would be spoiled, so I applied to work the late-night shift at a hip book store that was open until 2 a.m. Two weeks later, I got the book-store job, making £7 an hour. I could barely afford rent, and while my mum was able to help me a little here and there, I was mostly on my own.
"After a couple of months, I applied to work at another restaurant that gave me much more leeway to focus on my writing. Today, I still work in the restaurant industry as a means of supporting my writing career, and despite a few pain points here and there, I really love it. I’m more comfortable in my role and less resentful of my lot in life. I think now, being older and more experienced, I’m much less prone to flying off the walls. I’m more calm and collected.
"I learned that waiting tables can be both great and terrible, but at the end of the day, I do it to support my writing. It’s my choice; I could go work in an office doing something menial as hell, and don’t even get me started on what that rage quit would look like."
— Leah, 27, Freelance Journalist & Restaurant Server, Brooklyn, NY
"I worked thankless hours as an estate manager for a private family, whom I had been with for just over seven years. I was extremely comfortable, but the hours and travel were getting too long and tedious, and there was no sign of slowing. In the previous month leading up to me quitting, my father had been hospitalised, with a long recovery ahead, and I just began a new relationship — I felt pulled in a million different directions and was incredibly drained mentally and physically.
"After I wrapped a project way ahead of schedule, my boss immediately asked me to begin a new long-term project, and I really just lost it. I drafted an email saying that I was putting in my notice. She tried every which way to get me to stay, but I really needed to let go of the job as it was no longer serving me.
"However, I had no backup plan. My father immediately told me that what I had done was a huge mistake, and still reminds me of the time I was 'reckless' and quit my job at 30 with no plan. I had decent savings at the time, which I blew through very quickly after taking myself to Costa Rica for over two months.
"I began looking for remote and freelance jobs to tide me over while I was traveling, and when I returned, I was in a mountain of debt and I struggled to figure out the next steps. While I was never essentially unemployed, I was working a job that did not even come close to paying my expenses for six months. Eventually, I transitioned into the hospitality industry, where I work now.
"I learned from this experience that while getting paid a boat-ton of money sounds really lovely, it often comes at the expense of your sanity. I also learned that having a savings account is crucial to quitting any job. The more you have stashed away, the more you can think of actually leaving any place on a whim."
— Kristen, 31, Property Operations, Brooklyn, NY
“Because of love, I moved to Los Angeles after working for over eight years at the best hospital in New York. I started a job (that came with a huge pay cut) at an academic medical centre that came with the promise of running an entire clinic. In the interim, my husband and I incurred £15k in debt from moving, purchasing furniture, and the other expenses that come with starting a new life.
"Our original intent was to pay off our debt before we made any career decisions. However, one day the chair of my department sent me a strange text message out of the blue, undermining all the work that I did (like increasing patient volume by 33% for a niche program, increasing national awareness, and increasing patient satisfaction). After a series of texts, he followed up asking whether or not I liked my job. The subject matter seemed unusual to discuss through text.
"I texted him back and told him that I liked my job, was dedicated to the work that I did, and respected his leadership. I also stated that his message was quite discouraging, especially after I'd received multiple compliment letters from patients. This led to a phone call, where he spoke to me in a manner that I have never been spoken to before — filled with misogyny. He not only belittled me but spoke to me in a way that he would never have spoken if I were a man.
"An hour later, I went to lunch with my husband, and in the middle of our meal, I had a thought that never crossed my mind before: I told him I was going to quit the exact same day. He told me that we would have to give up the car and the apartment if I decided to move forward with it, but said he would support me regardless. I went back to the office, wrote my resignation letter, and packed up my belongings. At the end of my shift, I handed the key to the office, my ID, and my resignation letter in an envelope to my direct supervisor.
"As soon as I told my supervisor I was resigning, the first three questions she asked me were:
'You don't want to work anymore? You don't like your job? Does your husband know?' I explained that I actually loved my job but could no longer work in an intimidating environment. Two days later, I received a phone call from two female physicians: They knew exactly who had caused my unexpected leave, and stated this wasn't an isolated incident.
"Quitting my job has caused financial turmoil in our household, as we were on the brink of losing everything we had worked so hard to build. Besides the physical things, like our apartment and the car, I lost my sense of self-worth and had to rediscover who I truly am. But then I did something I was extremely scared to do; for the first time in my life, I shared my experience with others.
"I was surprised by the outpouring of support by strangers who shared their own experiences with me, letting me know that I wasn't alone. What I learned most from quitting is that no one deserves to ever be treated as less than a human being and that no matter what we struggle with, if we are brave enough to share our experiences, others will come to our aid to let us know that we are not in it alone."
— Angie, 30, Registered Nurse Program Administrator, Los Angeles, CA
"Working as a figure-skating director, I felt overworked and tired. I was in love with certain parts of my job, but I knew that it was affecting my mental health in a negative way. I would go home late at night and dream about my work the next day. Sometimes I would break down and cry about it.
"I'd had a resignation letter sitting in my Google Drive, and the night before [quitting] I called my mother in Maryland to let her know my plans. I had no real safety net, so I needed to know that if things got really rough, I had somewhere to go. The next day I printed out the letter and went straight to HR. I explained that I was ready to move on, and that was it.
"I didn’t have a backup plan and had a really bad summer working at an internship that paid minimum wage. I couldn't afford to survive, and my rent was two months late, but I am so thankful I didn't get evicted. I prayed that things would get better. For a majority of the summer, I ducked under the turnstiles to commute and ate ramen. Still, I did not regret quitting my job.
"I knew I had to keep my faith, and now I have three art residencies that are supporting my dreams. This experience taught me to always follow my gut. When a situation does not feel right, sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.
"Things got really hard after rage quitting, but the rewards that have come since have been absolutely mind-blowing. At the time, I did not feel comfortable telling friends, but now that I am on the other side, it's a lot easier to talk about. I learned how to let go of my pride, and how to just be. In the process, I learned how to survive and stand up for myself and my beliefs."
— LaTasha, 26, Artist, New York City, NY
"Two years ago, I worked for a tech startup in San Francisco. I found out by accident that the CEO of my company had been arrested and was on trial for 15 felony counts of domestic abuse against his girlfriend, whom I knew.
"I went to HR, and they concocted a cover-up involving a fake email to try and convince me the arrest I had uncovered didn’t exist. Two weeks later, I checked the San Francisco Superior Court website and searched his name. Of course, [I confirmed that] it wasn’t fake and he was in fact facing charges from the district attorney.
"I decided not to quit on the spot, because I had a move planned two months from then anyway. But a week later, the CEO yelled at me over a trivial matter, and I flew into a rage, bringing up the felony counts he was accused of. His first reaction was to try and convince me that the 'rumours' I'd heard about his arrest were untrue. After I pulled out my phone and read the felony counts, he simply said, 'Okay, I think we're done.'
"He then printed out a contract stating that day would be my last, and assured me that I would be compensated for another two weeks. Afterward, however, a friend of mine who was part of the HR team told me that the CEO was telling everyone at the company that he was going to sue me for defamation. This would have simply been a tactic to force me to lose thousands on lawyer fees, since the arrest was a matter of public record and he must have known he wouldn't win. In the end, we never ended up speaking again.
"Looking back, I have zero regrets! I had savings and was planning to move to New York City for my boyfriend’s medical school anyway, so there weren’t any repercussions. My career has proceeded, and I’m actually going to law school next year. This incident was in many ways the catalyst for me deciding to pursue a career in criminal litigation.
"After this experience, I have a much less personal relationship to work now. While I'm extremely happy with my current CEO and company, I also understand that my job is not my friend, it's my job. At the end of the day, any company will look out for itself, and I think that employees should be aware of this and be looking out for themselves, too."
— Elaina, Content Marketing in High Tech, 27, New York, NY
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